For a while I just stand in
silence and stare at him, still not believing my eyes. How could this possibly be real? I mean, hanging out with me is one thing, but
agreeing to kiss me is quite another.
Not that I disapprove of the idea…
“Please…tell me what you’re
thinking,” Alex says, biting his bottom lip and shifting his feet back and
forth.
“Well…I…I’m surprised,” I say
weakly. “I’m also a little
confused. Why didn’t you tell me who you
were, and most of all, why aren’t you with Lindsay?”
Alex takes a deep breath and
gulps before looking into my eyes with such intensity that my heart begins to
race again. “I didn’t tell you who I was
because I knew that if you realized who I was, then we wouldn’t have felt able
to connect like we did. I know Lindsay
is my girlfriend, but you’re my best friend, Celia, and…well… I have a
confession to make: whenever I’m with her, all I can think about is you.”
After saying that last bit, Alex escapes from my
gaze, blushing and looking down at the ground.
He looks so adorable that I can’t help myself: with butterflies
fluttering in my stomach, I shakily reach my hand out and gently touch his
face. Alex looks up in surprise, and our
eyes meet. I suddenly realize that the
phrase about eyes being “windows to the soul” is definitely true. As I gaze into Alex’s deep blue eyes, I see
the most pure and beautiful soul that I’ve ever, and most likely will ever,
see. In that moment, all of my doubt and
fear fades away, and we share a kiss that seems to make time stop. Fireworks go off in my brain and the whole
room disappears. All I taste, all I
feel, and all I see is Alex. The moment
seems to both last forever and yet end far too soon as we eventually part.
We remain standing very close to
each other, so close that I can still feel the heat of his body and hear his
shallow breaths. Before I can decide to
kiss him again, however, a cry of anger rises above the crowd. Startled, I turn away slightly from Alex,
attempting to discover where the sound had come from. I feel my face turn pale when I find out who
had sent out the cry: Lindsay. She is
several feet away, plunging knives into us with her eyes. I peer around at Alex and see that he looks
like he’s just seen a ghost.
“What the hell are you doing?” Lindsay asks.
Not knowing which of us she’s talking to, neither Alex nor I
answer. Lindsay sighs in
frustration. “Oh. I see how it is. You’ve both plotted against
me! It’s one thing for you to do this to me Alex, but my best friend?! This is just too much.”
I start to open my mouth to
respond, but before I can utter one word, Lindsay struts away with her head
held high in disgust. Neither Alex nor I
attempt to go after her; we just silently watch her disappear into the
crowd. I feel guilty, but not, at the
same time. I know that Alex cheated on
Lindsay and that she has a right to be angry, but the fact that she started
dating him as soon as she found out I liked him still really pisses me
off. Lindsay thought that we were best
friends, and I thought we were best friends too, but I suddenly realize that
what we had was not friendship. A true friend does not take her true love
away from her, I think to myself, but then I inwardly gasp as I become
conscious of the fact that I kind of did the same thing to her just now. I look over at
Alex, and he looks even guiltier than I do.
“I better go find Lindsay,” Alex
says. He takes in a shaky breath of air,
and his shoulders slump as he gazes down at the ground. Instead of pity, I’m filled with anger as I
look at Alex.
“Yeah, you better,” I say,
suddenly bitter. “You screwed everything
up, you know that, right?”
Alex winces and cowers, wringing
his hands. “I know. I’m really sorry, Celia.”
“Being sorry doesn’t exactly cut
it though, does it? If you would’ve asked
me out in the first place, none of this would’ve happened,” I say, sighing and
pressing a hand to my temple. There’s a
pounding in my head, and I feel like I might explode from all the emotions I’m
feeling. I know I shouldn’t be so hard
on Alex because I’m partly to blame too, but I don’t want to face that
fact. I’m desperately trying to push it out
of my mind.
“Well, what do you want me to
say?” Alex asks, waving his arms around violently. I’m taken aback by his sudden switch in
mood. “I messed up. I know.
You don’t need to shove it in my face.”
Unbidden tears of anger and hurt
fill my eyes. I try to hastily brush
them away and hide my face before Alex can see, but I don’t do a good enough
job because he notices. His brow
smoothes over and a look of concern comes over his face.
“Oh, Celia,” Alex says, cupping
his hand around my face and lifting it up so he can look me in the eyes. “I’m sorry.
I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
I blush and can’t help but smile,
feeling his warm hand on my face and his eyes melting into mine. He has such an effect over me. It’s impossible to stay mad at him, and I
guess I must have a similar effect over him.
“I know. I’m just a little emotional right now, I
guess,” I say. “Sorry-”
“Don’t be,” he interrupts. “I’m the one who really needs to be sorry.” He releases his hold on my face and turns
away. “I need to talk to Lindsay. I won’t be able to live with myself until I
do. I’ll talk to you later.” Alex begins
to walk away, but I stop him.
“Wait,” I call out. “Let me come with you.”
Alex turns to face me with a look
of uncertainty. “I don’t think that’s
such a good idea,” he says. “That might
piss her off even more if she sees me with you again.”
“Yeah, but I need to apologize,
too,” I persist. “And if we go to her
together, then we’ll both be there to support each other. I don’t think I can do this alone, and I
definitely don’t want you to do this
on your own. It’s not just you who is to blame, I’m
to blame as well.”
Alex sighs resignedly. “It’s not
your fault, but if you want to come with me I suppose you can. I probably wouldn’t be able to stop you from
coming with me even if I wanted to. You’re
so stubborn.” He sighs again but then
gives me a small, appreciative smile. “Thanks
though, Celia. I appreciate it.”
I smile and squeeze his hand. “No problem.
Let’s go. We can do this.” …I
hope.
No comments:
Post a Comment