The Jenna Devin Blog

Monday, May 21, 2012

An Enchanted Evening


     Exploding with excitement, I dash across the street.  Car horns blare, but I barely notice.  I'm running on pure adrenaline and feel as if I'm in a dream.  This can't truly be happening, I think to myself as I barely make it safely to the other side of the road, it's much too wonderful.  But it is happening.   As I stop to catch my breath, I see the reality right before my very eyes.  A large brown tour bus, with the most adorable creature in the world as an inhabitant.  The very thought makes my pulse quicken and my legs get shaky.  I try to settle down and compose myself, fanning my warm face and fidgeting with my hair in nervous anticipation.  My gosh, relax! I chastise myself.  He probably won't be coming out for like hours, so just take deep breaths...no need to faint and make a fool of yourself!  Before I could take those deep breaths, however, the sight I soon beheld made my heart stop and then beat in double-time, out of control.

     There is a squeak as the door of the tour bus opens and a young man emerges.  As he stretches and yawns, I openly gape at him, taking him in.  His tousled brown hair lifts gently in the light summer breeze as he takes in a deep breath, yawns widely, and then smiles a dreamy smile that seems to radiate a warm glow.  My eyes eventually leave his face and travel to the rest of his body, taking in his lean body dressed in an adorable ensemble of a black t-shirt and white tie, skinny jeans, and Onitsuka Tiger shoes.  I return my gaze back to his face, and suddenly our eyes meet.  My heart leaps with the dolphins, and I become dizzy and giddy.  A huge, stupid smile is plastered on my face, and I begin to blush profusively.  I look down at my feet, and when I look up again, he is still looking at me with an awkward smile on his face and an adorable blush reddening his cheeks as our eyes meet again.  I begin to feel faint as I realize what I need to do...I need to cross the distance between us and get up the guts to talk to him.  I gulp and take a large, shaky breath as I begin to take the most surreal walk I've ever traversed.  It's just so surreal, a dream come true, a fairy tale come to life.

     I keep my eyes glued on him as I walk, afraid that he'll disappear if I relinquish my gaze.  Consequently, this makes it much easier to trip over my feet, which I do multiple times.  My cheeks flame up with embarassment and excitement, and I inwardly curse my clumsiness.  The closer I get to him, the more shaky my whole body becomes, and I begin to feel dizzy.  Eventually I'm close enough to speak to him, but no words escape from my mouth.  They all get stuck in my throat and feel inadequate now that I'm in his presence.  The presence of Adam Young.  So, I just stand there, a deer in the headlights. 
    
     "Hey...ummm...you okay?" Adam asks. 

     Adam peers at me with concern deepening his chocolate eyes.    Once again, I am completely unable to utter a sound because now I'm falling into his eyes.  Adam begins to bite his lip and folds his arms around his chest as he glances around nervously, looking so adorably awkward that I just want to wrap him up into my arms and squeeze him tight against me.  I smile and barely suppress a giggle at the thought.  Noticing this, Adam raises his eye brows and cocks his head to one side, like an adorably inquisitive puppy.  Can he get any cuter?  I blush beet red and a tiny, high-pitched giggle escapes from my mouth.  I clap my hand to my mouth in utter embarassment, but Adam is unfazed.  He just laughs with me.  His laugh has a bright and cheerful sound to it that seems to emanate from his very soul, and it's highly contagious.  I start to laugh along with him, and in my joy, I accidentally let out a snort.  We're both silent for a moment, looking at each other (me looking absolutely disgusted with myself, I'm sure), when suddenly we begin laughing like a couple of maniacs.  And we just can't stop.  We're both laughing so hard that we can barely breathe, gasping for air and eventually dropping down to the ground to hold our sides in delicious pain. 
    
     When we finally get our breath back, our eyes meet again, and my breath catches in my throat as I realize how close we are.  We're sprawled out on the cement of the parking lot, our bodies mere inches away from each other...so close that I can hear Adam's breath quicken, and I can smell his cologne: a soothingly sweet mixture of vanilla and lilac.  If this wasn't intoxicating enough, his warm, chocolate eyes make me completely melt as he gazes into my eyes and seemingly into my very soul.  This intimate moment is timeless; it seems to last forever and to last only a second, all at the same time.  Adam is the first to bring us back to the present.  In his embarassment, he gets up a bit too quickly and stumbles, however, catching himself on the bus's open door.  I jump up in concern.

      "You okay?" I ask.

     Adam laughs.  "Well, it seems we've come full-circle, haven't we?"

     "Yeah, I guess so."  I chuckle, and then, taking a shaky breath, I begin to introduce myself.  "Well, um, my name is Jenna, in case you were wondering."

     "Nice to meet you, Jenna," Adam responds.  "My name's Adam, in case you didn't already know that."  He winks (yes, winks!) at me and reaches out his hand to shake mine.  His hand hovers alone for a moment as I stare at it in wonder, afraid to touch it.  Afraid that if I touch him, I'll discover it's all just a dream.  But curiosity and desire grab hold of me, and I place my hand in his.  Shivers of delight run down my spine as his warm hand grasps mine.

     "Nice to meet you, too, Adam," I say, as he releases my hand.  My hand is still warm and tingles with elated electricity.  "I love your music, and I...um...I think you're an amazing person."

     "Aww, thanks," Adam says, his smile shining brightly.

     "You're very welcome!" There's an awkward silence as I look down at my feet.  I glance at Adam's feet and notice his legs are shaking.  Is he actually as nervous as I am? I wonder.  To lessen the discomfort for the both of us, I speak again. "Umm...Adam?  Can I, um, possibly get my picture taken with you, please?" I ask.  I inwardly curse myself for how rehearsed it probably sounded.  The truth is, though, that I had rehearsed those very lines in my head for months and months before this moment.  In my daydreams I'd imagined this happening over and over.  I am pleased to know, however, that I'd actually been been able to utter my request at all.

     "Oh, sure!"  There's silence for a few moments.  "Ummm, do you...have a camera?"

     "Oh, yeah, yes," I fluster out, bringing myself back to reality.  Fumbling through my purse, I find my camera.  "Got it!" I exclaim in triumph, spilling out the rest of the contents of my purse in the process.  How embarassing.  I blush beet red again as I hurriedly drop down and pick up my things, and I find my head colliding with something hard: Adam's head.

     "Sorry!" we both chime and laugh nervously. 

     "Sorry," Adam says again, as he continues to help me pick up.  "I was just...going to help y--"

     "It's okay," I interrupt, reassuring him.  "Don't worry about it."  When the only object left is my hairbrush, I reach out to grab it...at the same time that Adam does the same.  Our fingers meet for a second, sending a spark of electricity that travels up my whole hand, and then Adam quickly relinquishes his hand, and I throw my hairbrush into my purse.  Suddenly we become aware that people are watching us.  We stand up quickly and find a group of pretty girls watching us with great interest and envy.  One of the girls, an especially beautiful girl with wavy, blonde hair and blue eyes, throws me a look of contemptuous resentment.  My cheeks burn up in embarrassment and surprise.  I'd never been one to be disliked or envied by others.  I was always the nice, shy girl who was largly overlooked, but today is a different story all together.  It's like I'm a totally different person around Adam, I think to myself, but then  I realize that I'm not being a totally different person. I'm just finally and truly being me for a change.  No holding back and watching things happen around me, waiting for something to happen to me.  I'm actually chasing my dreams, literally.

     So, I rack up my courage and ask one of the girls, a cheery brunette with pigtails, to take a picture of Adam and me.  The girl agrees, happy to be closer to and be noticed by Adam, I'm sure.  My heart begins beating like crazy as I go to stand next to him, our bodies mere inches away from each other, the possibility of embrace in the air.  I can hear his shaky, shallow breaths, and when he exhales, I can feel his breath's warmth caress my cheek.  We're so close, and I just want to hold him, but I'm too scared.  Afraid of the rejection that I'm so sure I'd find.  I instead settle into memorizing the moment, taking in how beautiful his face is as he smiles for the camera. 

     "Hey!  Look at the camera, girly!" the brunette teases. "And get closer.  I don't think he bites!"

     I can almost feel the vibrations of Adam's chest as he chuckles.  "Yeah, I'll try not to bite," he teases, tossing me a gentle smile.  I smile shyly and move closer, until our arms touch, and then, before my bravery disappears, I quickly wrap my arm around him.  It's an akward hold, granted, but I had done it.  Adam stiffens in surprise at first, but then he relaxes against me.  The surprise is then on me as I feel Adam's body shift, and I realize that he is putting his arm around me as well.  I begin beaming so big that I think my face might explode.  When the pictures have all been taken, the other girls begin to swarm around Adam, and I realize I should probably let them take their turn, so to speak, but I just can't bear to leave him.  I'm afraid we'll never meet again.  So, I try to speak above the tumult of the excited girls.  "Ummm...Adam?"  He doesn't respond, not hearing me.  I push through the crowd of girls and touch his arm.  He then notices me, and smiling mischieviously, he grabs my arm and bursts through the crowd.  I stumble at first, as he drags me along, but then I begin to laugh and run along with him.  As I peer back over my shoulder, I see the girls gazing at our retreating figures in astonishment and giving me looks of admiration and wonder mixed with disappointment. 

     After dashing down the sidewalk, dodging curious pedestrians, and racing across the street, narrowly avoiding a collision with a speedy Corvette, we end up near a little beach.  We hunch over as we gasp for breath, and I notice that Adam's hand is still holding mine.  He notices, too, and hastily lets go.

     "Sorry about that," Adam says.  "I wasn't trying to...kidnap you or anything.  I just wanted to get some space, so I could actually hear you and talk to you.  I was feeling a bit claustrophobic over there."  He laughs and gestures towards the girls across the street, who are still waiting patiently for his return. 

    "Oh, no problem!  I just hope I'm not being an inconvenience for you or anyth--"

    "No, no," Adam interrupts, smiling sweetly at me. "You're not an inconvenience at all.  So...did you have a question that you wanted to ask me?"

     "Oh, well, um," I stutter, flustered by his brown eyes that are now penetrating deeply into mine.  I release his gaze and look at my hands.  "I was wondering if I could...well...hug you."

     Adam smiles bashfully and blushes.  "Oh.  S-sure."

     There's a long split-second of hesitation, as I continue to look at my hands and bite my lip.  My apprehension is keeping me rooted to the spot.  Frozen.  But when I venture a peek up at Adam, I feel my frigid timidity melt with the warmth of his eyes on me.  I take a deep breath and step towards him.  Reaching out, I awkwardly wrap my arms around his back and pull my body up against his chest.  Adam gently wraps his arms around my back, completing the gesture.  I can feel the warmth of his hands on my lower back through the thin material of my light blue summer dress, and the beating of his heart thumps rapidly against mine.  Eventually his heart beat begins to slow, and our heart beats begin to beat in time.  Our bodies meld together, as if we're two puzzle pieces fitting in place.  It's the happiest moment of my life.  All too soon, we slowly release from each other's grasp.  I have a deep feeling of elation.  My whole body is tingling, and I feel a bit tipsy.  I think I'm drunk on Adam Young! I think to myself, smiling dreamily. 

     "Thanks," I say breathlessly.  "Thank you."

      Adam puts his hands in his pockets and looks out at the lake, looking a bit shy and nervous.  "N-no problem.  I...um...it was great meeting you."  He bites his lip and continues to look out at the water, his eyes periodically lingering on me.  I follow suit and look out at the water gleaming in the late afternoon sunshine.  We continue doing that for some time, the sun sinking lower and lower on the horizon.  After a while, Adam turns back to me.

     "Well, I think I better be going," Adam says, but still stays rooted to the spot as he continues to inscrutably look at me. 

     "Yeah, you wouldn't want to be late for your own concert," I say teasingly, "and you've got a lot of other fans who want to meet you."

    "Yeah, right," Adam says, nodding.  "That's an understatement."  We both laugh as we peer across the street, where a bunch of girls are frantically waving at Adam.  Both of us stand that way for a few moments.  It seems as if he is as reluctant to leave as I am.  "Well, I guess I'll see you tonight," Adam says finally.  "I hope you enjoy the concert."

     "Yeah, it should be awesome," I say, my voice spontaneously squeaking up an octave higher.  I clap my hand to my mouth in embarrassment.  Adam tries to conceal a laugh by clapping a hand to his mouth too, but I can still hear his muffled laughter through his fingers.  I playfully swat his shoulder and give him a smirk.  He smirks back at me and takes my hand, my heart beat accelerating.  Hand-in-hand we walk back across the street.  As I let go of his hand, I give him one more smile and thank him again.  Turning away from Adam and the crowd of girls who had once again surrounded him, I look back over my shoulder and see Adam's penetrating eyes watching me leave.

                                                 ----------------------------------------
    
     Scurrying out the door of the theater, the cool summer night breeze pushed me along, but I could barely feel its chill.  The night's events were enough to keep me warm for a long time.  As I walked, I replayed the night over in my mind: meeting Adam Young, actually conversing with him, and even hugging him!  It still seems so unreal.  Excitedly searching through my purse, I dig out my camera and scroll through the night's events captured in the photos, proving the reality of this enchanted evening.  I couldn't wait to tell my friends and my family all about it.  My head was so full of these thoughts that I barely noticed that something was wrong.  I start to feel the hair on the back of my neck prickling, and I feel like someone is behind me.  Am I being followed?

     My heart begins to race as I pick up the pace, but my pursuer seems to follow suit and pick up the pace too.  Every moment my pursuer seems to get closer and closer.  By now my heart is beating almost right out of my chest, so I decide to just turn around and face my pursuer before my heart bursts apart from beating so fast.  I turn my head around slightly and, under the fluorescent glow of a street light, I find someone I had least expected.

     "Um, hey!  D-do you, uh, do you remember me?" says a brown-haired young man with brown eyes above an awkward, sheepish smile.  But it couldn't be...could it? I think to myself.  As I stand there, a look of alarm must have remained on my face because the young man blushes scarlet and quickly apologizes.  "I'm sorry...really sorry.  I didn't mean to scare you.  I-um-I'm Adam Young, in case you don't remember me..."  His words trail off as he appears to suddenly be fascinated by the cracks in the sidewalk beneath his feet. 

     "Oh!  It's okay," I say, and seeing an unconvinced look from Adam, I add: "Really.  I mean it...and of course I remember you.  I was just surprised to see you and, well, surprised that you remembered me."

     There is an awkard pause in the conversation, diffused a bit by a couple of people who pass between us, providing an opportunity to compose ourselves.  For me that composure doesn't come, but Adam seems very composed now and so perfect.  I long to gently pull his face down to mine and place my lips on his as I string my fingers through his lovely hair.  Thinking about these kinds of things makes it rather difficult to gain composure, in case you were wondering.

     "Of course I remember you, Jenna," Adam says.  Hearing the sound of my name being spoken breaks me out of my daydreams (especially considering the person who has spoken my name).  "I just wanted to tell you how enchanted I was to meet you," he continues, "and, well, I was wondering if we could maybe keep in touch...?"

     I open my mouth to respond, but words escape me.  Adam Young was, in his own words, enchanted to meet me?!...and he wants to keep in touch?!  Could this even possibly be happening to me?

     "Th-thanks!" I say lamely.  "And yes, I-I'd like to keep in touch, too."

     Adam's smile lights up the night, like a little kid on Christmas morning.  "Great!" he says, as he fishes in his pocket and pulls out a pen.  He suddenly becomes hesitant as he looks at his pen and  clicks it a few times.  Adam then reaches out his left arm to hold my hand while he begins writing on it.  When he gets done writing, I see that he's written his number and his name, first and last.  This makes me laugh.  He's just so humble.  I mean, as if I'd forget which Adam he was...ha!

     Adam then hands the pen over to me, and I shyly write my name and number for him as well.  "Thank you so much, Adam, for everything," I say, peering up into his cozy brown eyes. 

     "No problem," Adam says, melting chocolate into my hazel eyes. "Thank you."

     We both stand and smile at each other, unsure of what to do next and reluctant to leave.  Knowing that my parents are waiting for me and that Adam is probably super tired, however, I decide to (sadly) start our farewells. 

     "I should let you go," I say.  "You've probably got lots of things you need to do...number one being sleep, I hope."  As soon as I say this, the thought of watching him sleep pops into my mind and makes me blush. 

     Thankfully, Adam doesn't seem to notice my discomfort.  Instead, he just laughs.  "Yeah, sleep sounds pretty good right about now, but it'll probably be hard to fall asleep right away tonight.  It's been...an amazing night."  Adam then gives me the sweetest smile I've ever seen.  It's the kind of smile that seems to warm up the air 10 degrees or more.

     "Yeah, it definetely has been amazing," I say.  "It was incredible meeting you."

     "Same here, Jenna," Adam says, taking my hand and shaking it.  As we are about to release our hands, I decide to surprise him and give him a quick hug.  We both wobble around awkwardly as we turn to leave, glancing back and waving good bye as we go.  I eventually see Adam disappear around the corner and out of sight.  Stopping to stand and stare over toward the corner where Adam disappeared, I see a pair of fireflies drift by, twinkling in the night.    

                 



Saturday, May 19, 2012

Death by Daydreams

Beautiful, wondrous, enchanting,
perfect: that is what they are,
but perfect isn't good enough.
Filling my head with happy things,
they suffocate me.
They may be wonderful,
but they're not real.
But, oh, how I wish they were.

"When you wish upon a star,
your dreams come true."
That is a lie.
Dreams never come true
without action,
and for me, this action is impossible
for I am slowly
dying a death
by daydreams.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Pablo Neruda's The Book of Questions

I've been reading Pablo Neruda's poetry from his book The Book of Questions. His poems are all series of questions that can't be answered. I think it's pretty amazing, so I decided to share some snippets of it with you.  :)

  • Isn't it better never than late?
  • Was it where they lost me that I finally found myself?
  • Hasn't the meadow caught fire with wild fireflies?
  • Where does the rainbow end, in your soul or on the horizon?
  • Does he who is always waiting suffer more than he who's never waited for anyone?
Here's a whole poem, one my favorites in the book so far...

When I see the sea once more
will the sea have seen or not seen me?

Why do the waves ask me
the same questions I ask them?

And why do they strike the rock
with so much wasted passion?

Don't they get tired of repeating
their declaration to the sand?

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Daydreaming

I lie down
on the cool green grass
and gaze up at the sky,
entering another realm.

A realm where
up is down,
and down is up.
The sky, a sea.
The clouds, cotton rafts,
where I drift
for seconds, minutes, hours
until the clouds burst,
and I float back down to Earth.

Remember


It does not die.

It is eternally there,

ever-present but

out of reach.

Regretted, celebrated.

Painful, pleasant.

Pulling us up, pulling us down.

In every action we make in the present,

the past ever remains.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Only Today

What would it be like
to live in a world of no past?
No memories, no regrets.
Everything that happens,
you forget.

You live in the moment,
and everything is possible
because you have never failed.
You've never lived
before this moment of forever.

Underwater Oasis




“Eva?  I’ve been trying to talk to you for a solid two minutes, but you’ve just been staring out into space.  Are you okay?” Harry asked.  His eyebrows wrinkled in concern as he examined my nervous face.  I looked away, hiding behind my curtain of light brown hair, and bit my lip, trying to figure out what to say.  I didn’t want to admit to him that I truly wasn’t okay, that I was scared to death.  I didn’t want Harry to worry about me, and I knew this was something that he really wanted to do; he’d been talking about it for months.  I didn’t want to be a spoilsport.  So, I decided on a balance.



“Um, yeah, sure.  I’m just a little worried is all, but I’ll be fine,” I said.



“You sure?  Because we don’t have to do this if you don’t feel comfortable doi--”



“I’m sure,” I interrupted, “but you’ll hold my hand the whole time, won’t you?  I don’t want to do this alone.”



“You’ll never be alone, from this moment on,” Harry said, gesturing dramatically and wrapping his arms around me.



“Oh, wow,” I teased. “That sure is original…..isn’t that from a Nickelback song?”  Harry gave me a mock-offended look, and then we both laughed.  Our laughter released the tension a bit, but I was still a bit uncertain, and Harry could tell.



He tried to reassure me.  “Seriously, Eva, everything is going to be okay.  We’ve got Michael here to teach us how everything works, and he’s a professional.  He’s been scuba diving his whole life.”  I could visibly see how excited he was.  His cerulean eyes were bright and his blond hair was adorably disheveled.  I still found myself amazed that I’d ended up with such an amazing husband, and I couldn’t stop looking at him. 



“What?  Is there something on my face?” he asked, absentmindedly putting a hand to his cheek.



“Oh. No, no…I’m just…never mind,” I said, blushing and breaking out of his enchantment.



“Ohhhkay…well, let’s get going!  We’ve got some scuba diving to do,” Harry said, taking my hand and jumping to his feet.  Yeah, I thought to myself, God help me.



----



After we’d gotten all of our scuba gear on (and, believe me, there was a lot of gear), Harry and I sat at the edge of the boat ladder, dangling our flippered feet above the edge.  My whole body was shaking, and my stomach felt sick.  I almost considered taking up Harry’s offer from earlier, but then I looked over at Harry.  I’d never seen him so happy; he looked like a little kid on Christmas morning. 



“Are you ready, Eva?” Harry asked.



“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I replied, with a shaky smile.  Harry smiled at me encouragingly, taking my hand.  I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and squeezed his hand as we both plunged into the ocean. 



----



The first thing I felt was the sting of salt water burning my face, and then I felt something tapping my arm.  My heart began pumping double-time, and my breath grew shallow.  Oh my gosh, I thought, it’s a shark! I’m going to die!  I quickly opened my eyes, and wildly looked around.  There was no shark; it was just Harry, thankfully, who was now gesturing impatiently.  As I took in the surrounding scene, my fears instantly disappeared.  Flashes of color swirled around me, and my eyes opened wide in awe.  Millions of fish, sea turtles, jellyfish, and countless other sea creatures swam around me and the towering pillars of coral of every shape and size that surrounded me.  It felt like I was living in a dream.  I tried to memorize everything I saw, every sensation I felt, so I could keep the memory forever.  A school of little yellow-and-black striped fish zoomed by, and a jellyfish drifted near my arm.  I flinched at first but then realized that it was a harmless comb jelly.  When I went to Florida as a kid I enjoyed scooping them up and holding them, letting their squishy bodies warm my hands.  Recalling this memory, I laughed at myself and reached out to touch the comb jelly.  Its familiar soft, warm body soothed me, and I became completely at ease.  The sapphire blue water was so clear that, when I looked downwards, I was able to easily see all the way down to the ocean floor.  The sight I then beheld took my breath away. 



Before me stood an adorable little house, standing on stilts.  It was painted sea green and had large, rounded windows.  Through one of these windows, I could see a bed and dresser.  It was so surreal, like a secret clubhouse deep beneath the sea.  Beside the little house stood a sign that read: “Jules’ Undersea Lodge: the World’s First Undersea Hotel.  Harry met my eye, and we both looked at each other in wonder.  He then took my hand and led me toward the hotel.  I shot him a questioning look, and he beamed back at me.  I suddenly realized why Harry had been so excited for so long.  It wasn’t just the scuba diving, it was the surprise he’d had in store for me: an undersea honeymoon.  I felt like I had entered a different realm of reality, which in some ways, I actually had.  I had entered the underwater realm, and it was the most enchanting place I’d ever known.  Harry gave me a look that said “Shall we?” and I nodded.  Hand-in-hand, we began to make our way down to the bottom, to Jules’ Undersea Lodge.



----



Shivering but full of excitement, I emerged out of the water, and into the Lodge, through a hole in the bottom of the building.  It was like emerging from out of the ocean and into a tiny swimming pool.  I swam to the deck of the pool and climbed out, curiously looking around me.  The room we had entered was very small, with a shower in the corner and a door on the back wall. 

           

“How does this place not fill up with water?  I mean, it’s completely open to the ocean,” I said.  “What if the place starts filling up with water while we’re sleeping?  We’d drown!” 



Harry chuckled, gaining an incredulous look from me.  “Don’t worry, dear.  It’s not going to fill up with water, and we’re certainly not going to drown.  The place is filled with compressed air.  There’s a cable hooked up to the hotel that brings fresh air and cable from land.”

           

“If you’re sure…” I answered.

           

“I’m very sure.  I read all about the place before we came,” Harry said, his head held high in pride.



I laughed at his self-satisfaction, releasing a bit of the tension, but the fear still lingered in the back of my mind.  I decided to try to forget about it though; no sense in ruining our honeymoon by worrying the whole time.  Continuing to look around, I suddenly realized just how cold I was; I was shaking and had goose bumps up-and-down my whole body.  Also, my eyes and face stung.  I scratched at my face and felt flakes of hardened salt rub off onto my fingers.  Harry wrapped his arm around me, pulling me toward him.



“Oh, dear, you’re chilled….and sticky.” He laughed. “Why don’t we take a nice, hot shower?”



“Th-that sounds w-wonderful,” I chattered, smiling back.



----



“Um, now what?  I have no clothes, except for my swimsuit, and I don’t want to put my swimsuit back on.  It’s so wet!”



Harry snorted and burst into laughter at this.  I glared at him.  “What’s so funny?” I asked.



He gazed back at me, mischievously.  “Well, why don’t you just go naked then?  That would be completely okay with me.”



I slapped his arm playfully and rolled my eyes.  “Ha ha, very funny,” I said. 



We had already finished showering and had begun to dry off before we had finally realized that we didn’t have our clothes with us (a couple of the Jules’ Undersea Lodge employees were going to bring our luggage down in special, water-proof cases).



“Well, hello!  Y’all must be Harry and Eva.”



Harry and I jumped in surprise, seeing two teenagers rising out of the water.  They both had shiny, black hair and sun-kissed skin and were sharing looks of amusement, holding back huge grins.  Harry and I both blushed beet red and snatched up a couple of towels, wrapping them around us as quickly as possible. 



     “We’ve got your clothes now, in case y’all want them,” the girl joked, as both her and the boy plopped down our suitcases.  “My name is Jenny, and this is Jerry.  We’ll be staying in the other end of the building.  If y’all need anything, we’ll be happy to help.  We’ll show y’all your room in a bit, but we’ll give y’all a…um…moment first.”  Harry and I blushed but thanked them, scrambling for our clothes.



----



Going through that door was like entering into my own piece of heaven.  I breathed in a sharp intake of air, and my mouth dropped.  Inside our room was a large, King-sized bed, decorated with fish pillows on a bedspread of dolphins.  There was a hot tub in one corner, and a TV and a dresser in the other, but the most striking aspects of this room were the walls and ceiling; they were entirely made of glass.  I kept turning around and around, gazing around at the beautiful sea life drifting above and beside me in the ocean surrounding me.



“So, do you like it?” Jerry asked, smiling.



“No,” I said, my eyes glued on the room before me. “…I love it.  This is…indescribable.” 



----





I opened my eyes, and a dolphin swam by above me, in the bright blue water.  Wow, what a vivid dream, I thought to myself, but then I remembered where I was.  I was lying in bed, with Harry’s arms wrapped gently around me, in a structure twenty feet below the ocean.  I rested my head on Harry’s chest, and he automatically wrapped his arms around me.  I smiled blissfully and continued to gaze up at the sea above me, like a sky filled with sea life.  In that place, in that moment…I’d never felt so at home.



----



I woke up to blinding, white light.  What is going on? I thought.  My head was filled with a ringing but it was oddly pleasant, and all I could see was brightness all around me.  I tried to move, but I couldn’t; my body was paralyzed. 



“HARRY!” I yelled, but no sound escaped my lips.  I was trapped in my own body.  Suddenly the light disappeared, and what I saw before me took my very breath away.  I was standing on shore before an immense boat.  The most unreal aspect of the scene was the color of the sea that this boat was floating on; it was the exact shape of a blue crayon, yet it looked completely natural.  I’d never seen anything look that blue without it being fake, dyed that way.  Wait a second, I thought to myself.  The word “dyed” brought a startling possibility to my mind.  Have I died?  An abrupt vision then filled my mind, and my life literally flashed before me.  Every sight, sound, smell, and feeling of every moment in my life somehow flickered through my head in a span of time that seemed like merely a few minutes.  The last scene I saw was Harry and I, sleeping soundly in our bed in Jules’ Undersea Lodge, unaware of the water that began to seep in all around us. 


Lightning



Sitting on the bus, Matthew could hear the drip, drop of rain as it began to fall on the roof, and he started to panic.  Oh please no, he thought. Please don’t storm.  It was late at night, and he and his sophomore class were on their way back from Chicago, where they’d gone to see a musical. 



“What’s the matter, Matthew?” asked a pretty young girl with long, strawberry blonde hair and bright blue eyes. “You okay?” 



Matthew blushed and looked away.  He’d known, and crushed on, Olivia pretty much his whole life, but he never ceased to be startled by the intensity of those deep blue eyes of hers.  They seemed to penetrate into his very soul, and seeing her in the dark, with the moonlight illuminating her elegant features, she was even more captivating.  “Oh. Yeah. I…I’m fine,” Matthew stuttered.  God, why couldn’t I act like a normal person? he thought.  She probably thinks I’m such a dork.



Through the corner of her eye, Olivia continued to look concernedly at Matthew.  She felt sorry for him.  He seemed so lonely, sitting there all alone while the rest of the class was laughing and conversing together.  But even more than this, there was something about Matthew that she hadn’t noticed before.  To be completely honest, she had barely ever noticed him before today.  Now, however, it was like seeing him for the first time.  He was slouched against the bus window, his messy black hair sticking against the window.  He was so awkward, but in a good way.  He is…adorable, Olivia decided, why hadn’t I seen it before?  So, Olivia picked up her purse and book bag, and shuffled over toward Matthew. 



“Olive, where are you going?” chimed a girl with short-cropped black hair.  Olivia didn’t respond, continuing her way toward Matthew.  Matthew turned and saw Olivia making her way toward him.  Their eyes met, and this time they both blushed, but they didn’t notice the many eyes watching them.  They only had eyes for each other.



“Um…do you mind if I sit by you?” Olivia shyly asked.



Matthew’s heart raced, and his hands broke out in a cold sweat.  “S-sure!” he squeaked, his voice cracking.  Ugh, he thought, of course.  But Olivia was unfazed.  If anything, she found this endearing.  She smiled sweetly and gracefully sat down beside him.  There was an awkward silence for a moment.  Matthew gulped and wiggled uneasily in his seat, looking out at the night through the window and sneaking glances at Olivia through the corner of his eye.  Olivia stared down at her hands, which were folded across her lap, and bit her lip.  After a while, she cleared her throat and turned to Matthew.

           

“Sooo…did you enjoy the show tonight?  The music was amazing!...and the dancing?  I mean, wow, right?”

           

“Oh, yeah!  It was pretty awesome.”



There was another awkward silence as they sat there, unsure of what else to say, not knowing each other very well at all.  Well, Matthew knew Olivia pretty well, but he was too shy to talk.  He just knew he’d screw up and say something really stupid.  Better to just stay quiet, he thought.  All of a sudden there was a flash of bright light across the sky, followed by a loud rumble that shook the bus.  Matthew jumped and reflexively clung up against Olivia.  She blinked in surprise and was rigid at first, but then she smiled and gently wrapped one arm around his slightly shaking body. 

           

“It’s okay, silly, it’s just thunder,” Olivia assured him. 



Matthew blushed profusely and jolted out from under her arm.  “Sorry…”



“Don’t worry about it,” she replied, flashing a brilliant smile back at him that made his heart skip a beat.  Once again there was a flash and a bang, this time much louder and almost immediately after the flicker of light.  Matthew gasped this time, and tightly wrapped his arms around Olivia.  Olivia could feel him shaking and could smell a hint of cologne and coconut shampoo emanating from him.  She sighed, breathing him in, and blushed when he met her eye.  “You know, there’s nothing to be afraid of.  We’re safe in the bus.”



“Sure, you may be safe,” Matthew replied, “But men are six times more likely to be struck by lightning.  Did you know that?”



“Um, no, I didn’t,” Olivia responded, holding back a smile.  “But I’m thinking that you don’t have anything to be worried about.  You’re not like most other guys.  You’re smart enough to stay inside when it’s storming, for one thing.”



“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Matthew said, smiling slightly.  “I’ve just…I’ve just always had this fear of being struck by lightning since I was just a kid, and that fact always backs me up, you know?”



“I understand.  It’s okay to be afraid,” Olivia assured.  “I’m deathly afraid of spiders.”



“Really?”



“Yup.”



“Well, I guess we could…protect each other, then, huh?” Matthew said.  Oh wow, Matthew thought to himself, that sounded like a really lame pick-up line or something.  Olivia, however, found it absolutely adorable.



“Sounds like a plan,” Olivia beamed back, leaning her head on Matthew’s shoulder.




The Dream



I found you, and I want to keep you forever

…But how?

You slip away, drifting out of my grasp

Like a slippery, sparkling seal

You’re enchanting, breathtaking

A mystical magic

“Are you real?” I ask.

“It depends,” You respond,

“What is real?”

Once Upon a Dream




'Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?'”

–-Professor Dumbledore from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows



I jumped into bed, exhausted.  What a horrible day, I thought to myself.  Couldn’t I ever do something right?  No matter what I tried to do, I could never live up to the expectations of everyone around me, especially my parents.  Just that evening my parents, my older sister Melody, and I had sat down to dinner.  As usual, Melody began chatting excitedly about her friends, the big dance coming up in a month, and all of her classes that she was excelling in.  I sighed and picked at my meatloaf, thinking of how I’d never be as amazing as Melody.  She was smart, beautiful, popular, and friendly, pretty much as perfect as a Barbie doll.  I ate my meatloaf in silence, not wanting to bring any attention to myself and my endless flaws.  After a bit, however, my father turned to me.



“So, Lyra, how was your day?”



 “Good.”



“Did you make any new friends today?”



“Um, not really,” I said slowly, looking down at my plate.  I felt like I was going to cry, so I asked to be excused.  As I walked away, my mother and sister were whispering together in low voices, but I could clearly hear what they were saying.



“Melody, did Lyra sit alone at lunch again today?”



“Yeah.  I saw her while I was walking to my history class.”



“I don’t know what to do about her.” My mother sighed, and then addressed my father.  “Do you think we should have her see a psychiatrist?”



I froze, while a feeling of anger and fear crept over me.  No, I would not see a psychiatrist!  I was not some crazy person.  I was just an introvert and didn’t feel the need to talk and be with people all the time.  Why couldn’t people accept me for who I was?



In bed, I closed my eyes and waited for sleep to come, but it did not.  My mind was too full of thoughts of the evening, and they were weighing me down.  I tossed and turned but still couldn’t get comfortable no matter which way I turned.  Sighing and staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling, I eventually slipped into a soothing, magical slumber.



----



 I opened my eyes, and there he was, sitting in a piece of moonlight at the foot of my bed, gazing at me.  Sitting up fast, I curled my legs up close to my body and flipped on the light switch.  I squinted in the blinding light for a few moments before completely taking in the scene before me.  This must still be a dream, I thought to myself, but the boy with the warm, chocolate eyes looking intently at me seemed far too real.



“Um, hello,” I said dreamily, half-asleep, “Wh-who are you?”  The boy looked like he had just woken up and was half-asleep as well, but he was still absolutely handsome.  His wavy brown hair was a bit ruffled, and he was wearing a navy blue shirt and pajama pants.  And those eyes…I felt like I was melting and willingly falling into a black hole as I gazed back into their warm, sweet depths. 



“My name’s Adam,” he responded.



“Oh.  Well, it’s…um…nice to meet you, Adam.  My name’s Lyra,” I flustered out.



“It’s nice to meet you, too.”



There was an uncomfortable silence as we both sat there, unsure of what to say.  I looked down at my fingers and began fidgeting with my nails, while Adam bit his lip and looked around the room.  Finally, he broke the silence.



“Umm…I have a question for you,” he asked. “Is this a dream?  It seems really real, but how would I have ended up here?  I have no idea where I am, and I’ve never met you before…” Adam looked around the room and bit his lip again.



I stared at him in disbelief.  He didn’t know if it was a dream or not either?  How peculiar.  Maybe this was real.  But…how?  “Well, I suppose I could…pinch you.  Then you’d know if you’re actually dreaming or not…and if you’re not dreaming, then you can pinch me to see if it’s me who’s dreaming!”  I laughed nervously, amazed that I’d had the courage to talk to this beautiful boy.



“Good idea!  Yeah, pinch me, please.”



I leaned over and clumsily pinched his arm.  We both looked away, feeling awkward.  Adam closed his eyes for a second and then opened them, looking around and still seeing me.  His eyes grew wide. “Woah.  I…guess I’m not dreaming.  This is just too weird.”



“Could you pinch me now?” I asked.



“Sure.”  Chills of delight ran down my spine as his warm fingers touched my cold skin, and when I closed my eyes and opened them again, Adam was still there.  Oh. My. God.  This was happening.  This was really happening.  I suddenly got light-headed and felt like I was going to faint.  Awful timing.  I put my head down and rested my hands on my forehead, taking in deep breaths. 



“Are you okay?” Adam asked.  His eyes shone with concern.



“Um, yeah.  I just need some water,” I said weakly as I got up out of bed.  I got up too fast, however, and the world turned black.  Nothingness.  Then, all of a sudden things came back into focus, fuzzily at first but slowly sharpening.  I felt, and blurrily saw, a warm hand brushing my hair away from my eyes.  When I could properly see again, I found Adam sitting right next to me, gazing at me with deep concern and holding a glass of water.  He blushed profusely, as he realized his hand was still resting on my cheek.



“Sorry,” he said quickly.



“It’s okay,” I said, gawking at his face.  I was completely enchanted by his very presence.  He seemed to radiate with beauty, like an angel or a star.  I snapped back into reality, as I noticed his discomfort at being stared at.  “So, um, what would you like to do?” I asked.



“It doesn’t matter, really.  Whatever you want to do is fine.”



“Well, are you hungry?  I could make some waffles or something…”



“Sure! That sounds great.”

----



That evening was absolutely enchanting.  A mixture of fireflies and stars lit up the night sky as Adam and I snuggled up together under a warm, fuzzy blanket, gazing up at the stars.  Suddenly a brief and glorious flash of white light whizzed across the sky.  We both stared with our mouths gaping, wonderstruck at the beauty of the moment.  I wish that this night, this moment, would never end, I thought to myself.  I closed my eyes and sighed in contentment as Adam held me close, whispering in my ear: “You’re my sweetest dream come true.”  I blushed and opened my eyes.  I looked into his eyes with intensity and said, “You’re my sweetest dream come true, too, Adam….if this really is reality.  I’m still not so sure…”



“Well,” Adam said shyly, “even if this actually is a dream, I still want you to know this as well: I’ll never forget you.”



“Never.” I nodded in agreement. “I’ll never forget you.”



Adam cradled me tightly against him as he began to softly sing lovely lullabies in my ear.  I snuggled up against his chest, closed my eyes, and drifted off into a sweet sleep. 



----



I woke up to blinding light drifting over my eyelids. When I opened my eyes, I looked around and found myself sitting in my backyard with a blanket wrapped around me, but Adam was nowhere in sight. Gone. Was it really a dream after all? I thought to myself. And was Adam waking up right now, wondering the very same thing?

The next month passed by slowly. I never figured out for sure what really happened, but I knew it couldn't have been a dream. Whenever I'd gaze up at the stars or light a candle, I could actually feel him all around me.  Sometimes when I was thinking about Adam, I'd have this feeling come over me that he was thinking of me at that very same moment.  I knew I had to see him again. 

----

I hated dances because, besides being socially awkward, I was also a terrible dancer.  Melody had almost literally dragged me to the school dance.  I moodily sat on a bench in the gym and gazed with envy at the dancers.  I wish Adam was here.  The instant I thought this, I sighed in contentment and drifted into my daydreams, pretending the couples out on the dance floor included Adam and me.  Suddenly I had this powerful feeling of déjà vu and a sense of exhilaration that I hadn't felt since……..and then a pair of chocolate brown eyes found me, and our eyes met. And I knew. It was real. The dream was real. Our eyes were locked on each other for a moment that seemed to last forever and be far too short, all at the same time. It could have been one hour, one minute, one second...I don't know.  Eventually I looked away, suddenly hesitant. I could feel Adam’s gaze still intensely focused on me, but I was too shy and couldn’t get the courage to meet his eye again. Adam eventually looked down at his feet, looking timid and perplexed. He drifted off to the door of the gym, but not before slipping a glance back at me as he closed the door and disappeared, leaving a trail of stardust behind.
























Deep Sleep


As I dash to the water’s edge,

I relish in the feel of the warm

sand between my toes.

I never feel more alive

than when I am near the sea.



I prance into the water and feel

the waves pull at my feet

as the ocean opens her mouth, and

sprays into my eyes.

The salt burns

and collects into granules on my skin,

and I feel as if the sea has become a part of me.



As I drift off to sleep that night,

the cool sand comforts me,

and the ocean sings a lullaby

as I fall asleep in her arms.

Regret


I saw you

standing there,

and

I just wanted to wrap my arms around you

and never let go.

Like magnets,

I felt myself being pulled toward you,

but insecurities and doubts clouded my mind,

and my polarity switched.

Whenever I tried,

I couldn’t reach you.



If only I could’ve told you

how smart,

beautiful,

and perfect

you truly are.



I’ve treasured you for so long, but

I’ve never gotten the courage to love you.

I’ve watched your life from a distance,

afraid to take chances, afraid of what I’d lose,

but the irony is

by trying to keep my heart safe,

I lost it,

and worst of all,

I lost you.