Of Tears and Raindrops: Peter's Perspective

I gaze out at the lake, enjoying the feel of the sun shining down on my face.  It’s a perfect summer evening; a perfect time for fishing.  As I cast my line, I look out over the beach at the beachgoers.  A few pretty blondes in bikinis catch my eye, and I gawk at them like a deer in the headlights.  They wrinkle their eyebrows in disgust and turn away.  Yeah, that’s pretty much my life story.  And not just in the “lady department.”  For some reason people just don’t like me, and I don’t know why.  I think they’re all just jealous.  I mean, who wouldn’t be?  I’m fricken awesome!  That’s what I try to tell myself at least… 

 

A huge jerk on my line surprises me, breaking off my thoughts and causing me to lose my footing, almost falling in the lake.  Of course, the beautiful blondes see the whole thing and are snickering conspiratorially.  Smooth move, Peter.  Smooth move. 

Trying to explain myself and to maintain the amount of dignity I have left, I yell, “I’ve got one!  I think it’s a big one, too!” It must be a big one to have given such a big jerk, right?  Well, I guess it depends on your definition of “a big one.”  As I reel in the line, I am disappointed to find a measly blue gill.  This makes the bikini girls laugh like hyenas.  I groan and slap my palm to my face.  Well, I try to reassure myself, at least I caught myself and didn’t actually fall in the lake, too.  I never would have lived that one down.  I’m sure the word would have been all over town, in the headlines of the newspaper the next morning even.  I can see it now: “Local Teen Boy Falls in Lake While Catching a Bluegill.”  Okay, so I might be exaggerating a little bit, but not too much.  I wouldn’t put it past this dinky town to write something like that for the newspaper. 

 

I take my fish off the hook and toss it back into the water.  Cautiously, I venture a look over in the direction of where the blondes had been.  I’m filled with relief when I see that they’ve left, and then my relief turns to delighted nerves as I notice a new figure standing by the water’s edge.  It’s Melody.  Just saying her name in my mind makes my heart skip a beat.  There’s just something about her that I can’t help but be attracted to.  I can’t define what that something is, though.  I mean, she’s kind of weird and sensitive, and she’s really nothing that special to look at to be completely honest.  I think it’s just that she’s so sweet.  I’ve never had anyone treat me as nicely as she does.  I’ve always been the outcast, but Melody makes me feel like I actually belong.  Battling with thoughts of whether to go and talk to her or not, I finally decide to be brave and wander over to where she stands.  I mean, I can’t make any more of a fool out of myself today than I already have, can I?

 

“Melody?” I say, my voice cracking on the last syllable.  In regards to that last question, yes, I can make more of a fool out of myself today.  I’m just full of surprises. 

 

Melody turns toward me. I smile like a dork to complete the whole dorky look, of course.  I might as well, right? 

 

“Oh, hey!” she says.  “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

 

“Yeah, I didn’t expect to see you either,” I say.  “What are you up to?”

 

“Oh, just enjoying the nice summer evening, you know?” Melody says.  “It looks like you’ve been fishing.  Have you caught anything good?”

 

I groan inwardly.  You have no idea...  “Nah.  Just a few blue gills.”

 

“Well, on the bright side, at least you didn’t get skunked.”

 

“True, true,” I say.  I think I would have rather been skunked actually, I think to myself, as I smile ironically at the ground.  I look up eventually and find Melody’s eyes on me.  Man, I never realized how amazing her eyes are!  To be honest, I’d never really looked her right in the eye.  I have issues with eye contact; it’s an odd quirk I have.  I find myself looking into her eyes though, falling in actually.  They’re deep and brown; it’s like I’m falling into a mug of hot chocolate.  I have a sudden desire to kiss the lavender lids that frame those sexy eyes.  Embarrassed and self-conscious, I blush and try to repress my desire, while at the same time I notice a wisp of hair that has fallen over Melody’s left eye.  Before I can stop myself,   I reach my right hand over and push the hair behind her ear.  Still in shock, my hand lingers on Melody’s face for a couple seconds that seem to freeze in time before I pull away.  We stare at each other for a few moments until I see a tall blonde guy approaching behind Melody.  He taps on her shoulder, and she starts in surprise.   Turning away from me, she addresses the guy, who I now recognize as someone I know from school: Micah. 

 

“Hello,” Micah says.  He looks from Melody to me and back again.  “I hope I wasn’t, um, interrupting anything…”

 

Oh, yeah, I’m sure you were hoping that.  Of course you were, you bastard.  I take a good look at him and don’t like what I see.  I see one of those “perfect” guys: Ken, Prince Charming, whatever you consider the “ideal” guy, that’s what’s he is.  He’s tall, skinny, blonde, and athletic.  Then there’s me: the dark-haired, moody, junk food fiend. 

 

“Oh, no, of course you weren’t interrupting anything!” Melody says.  Umm…speak for yourself, I think to myself.  “I was just soaking up the sun, and Peter, my friend from work here, happened to notice me while he was fishing.”  She gestures to me.  “Do you guys know each other at all?  Peter goes to our school, too, but he’s a couple grades ahead of us.”

 

“Yeah, I know him,” I say.  I wish I didn’t though, I add in my head.  “Micah, right?”

 

“Yep, that’s right.  I think I remember you, too,” says Micah.  “You’re part of that band the Turbo Toasters, right?”

 

Melody looks at Micah in confusion and then sets her eyes on me.  “You’re in a band?  You never told me that!  That’s so cool!”

 

“Well, you never asked.  It’s not that big of a deal,” I say, trying to be humble since I know she loves humility, and I’ve shown I’m pretty good at being humiliated, especially today.  “I mean, it’s not like we’re famous or anything.  It’s just for fun really.” I never thought she would be interested in my band, to be honest.  She didn’t seem like the type.

 

“Speaking of things untold, I have something to show you,” Micah says to Melody.  “Follow me.”  Melody gives Micah a questioning look, but he just beckons her to tag along.  I trail behind, curious what untold secret Micah could have.  He’s probably an actual prince or something.  It wouldn’t surprise me.

 

“So, what do you think?” Micah says.

 

I peer around Micah and Melody, seeing a moped.  It’s bright red, rusted in a few spots, and has tons of bumper stickers plastered to it.  So, this is his secret, huh?  Lame.  I smile to myself in satisfaction until I notice the look of delight on Melody’s face.

 

“I love it!” she says.

 

Micah smiles obnoxiously.  He’s very pleased with himself, I can tell.  It makes me want to punch him in the face.  It would rip that smile off his face, that’s for sure. 

 

“Would you like to go for a ride?” Micah asks Melody.

 

 “That would be awesome!” she says.

 

“Great!  Go ahead and hop on then.”

 

Melody sidles onto the moped, and Micah sits down in front of her.  Their proximity causes a pang of hurt and jealousy to rise in my throat.

 

“Hold on tight!” he says. 

 

Melody blushes as she wraps her arms around Micah, causing a lump to form in my chest this time.  My throat is throbbing with repressed emotion, and now my heart feels like it’s literally breaking.  This all sounds cheesy, I know, but it’s true.  I’m not just making this up.

 

The moped revs up to life, and the duo speeds away.  Melody gives me a wave, and I just stand there, rooted to the spot.  A dead tree in the middle of the parking lot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Of Tears and Raindrops: Micah's Perspective

                                   

 

Speeding down the street, all I can think about is her.  Everything I see and everything I do reminds me of her.  I smile dreamily.  Man, I must look like such a dork right now.  Sitting at a stop light with an old, femme moped and wearing a girly smile on my face.  So manly.  A smirk from a man in a pickup truck next to me confirms my fears.  As I wait for the stoplight to turn green, I try to avoid eye contact with the man.  I’m filled with relief when the light finally turns green, and I’m able to buzz around the corner. 

 

As I drive past the beach, I lazily scan my eyes through the crowd and do a double take when I notice a brown-haired girl who looks like Melody.  I slow down and look more closely.  The girl shifts her feet back and forth restlessly and twirls her hair around her finger.  I then hear a laugh like the tinkling of bells pass through the crowd.   Sure enough, it is her.  I could recognize that sweet laugh anywhere.  By now, I’ve already passed the beach, so I turn around.  Since I’m driving a moped, and therefore can’t go into reverse, this turn-around is a bit awkwardly done.  Well, I might as well just continue my awkwardness, I guess.  I should just accept that I’m a dork and move on. 

 

So, I pull into the parking lot and hesitantly begin to approach Melody.  As I get closer to her, I suddenly realize that she’s not alone; she’s talking to another guy around my age.  I scrunch up my eyes in concentration and discover that I recognize him from school, vaguely.  I can’t help but feel a little jealous of him and wonder what they’re talking about.  I try to throw this feeling away.  Be a man about it and all, you know, but suddenly the boy Melody is with has gotten much closer to her and seems to have touched her face.  My heart sinks.  I try not to jump to conclusions and reason that perhaps there was a bug on her face or something, and that he was just getting it off for her, but the less reasonable part of my mind is telling me that that’s a bunch of crap.  Regardless, I try to put on as convincing of a smile as possible and, gathering up my courage, I come up from behind Melody and tap on her shoulder.  She starts in surprise and turns around.  Her big brown eyes fill with light and her lips turn up into a quirky smile as recognition seems to wash over her.  With the sun shining down on her, she looks like an angel, and I feel blessed to be in her presence.  Very sentimental and romantic, I know, but that’s me for you.  Besides, chicks dig that kind of thing, and this story probably has a mostly female audience, so it works.

 

“Hello,” I say, looking from Melody to Peter and back again.  “I hope I wasn’t, um, interrupting anything…”

 

“Oh, no, of course not!” Melody says.  “I was just soaking up the sun, and Peter, my friend from work here, happened to notice me while he was fishing.”  She gestured to Peter.  “Do you guys know each other at all?  Peter goes to our school, too, but he’s a couple grades ahead of us.”

 

“Yeah, I know him,” Peter says.  “Micah, right?”  We both study each other’s face.  I find myself comparing him to me.  He looks a lot more confident, which I definitely envy, and he’s got the whole “dark rogue” thing going.  Then there’s me in contrast: lanky, awkward, and blonde.  Yeah.  

 

“Yep, that’s right.   I think I remember you, too,” I finally say, breaking out of my depressing self- criticism.  “You’re part of that band the Turbo Toasters, right?”

 

Melody looks at me in confusion and then sets her eyes on Peter.  “You’re in a band?  You never told me that!  That’s so cool!”

 

Damn.  She likes guys in bands.  I need to learn how to play the guitar…

 

“Well, you never asked,” Peter says.  “It’s not that big of a deal.  I mean, it’s not like we’re famous or anything.  It’s just for fun really.”

 

I decide to use this chance to introduce my own untold secret: my moped.  Sure, it’s kind of girly, but all the better then, right?  Melody will love it!  Peter might tease me about it, but at least I could grab the girl and get away.  In the end, that’s all that matters: who gets the girl. 

 

“Speaking of things untold, I have something to show you,” I say.  “Follow me.”  Melody gives me a questioning look, but I just beckon her to tag along.  Peter trails behind, looking unsure whether he should follow as well or not.  I wish he wouldn’t.  Man, that sounds really selfish.  I need to stop being so jealous.

 

“So, what do you think?” I say, once we’ve reached my moped.

 

Melody peers around me, surveying my vehicle with a smile on her face.

 

“I love it!” she says.

 

I grin so huge my face hurts.  Very attractive.  Not.  Yet, she is somehow very pleased by my smile because she beams a huge smile as well, though hers is much more attractive than mine, I’m sure.  “Would you like to go for a ride?” I ask.

 

 “That would be awesome!” she says.

 

“Great!  Go ahead and hop on then,” I say.

 

Melody sidles onto the moped, and I sit down in front of her, taking a hold of the handlebars.

 

“Hold on tight!” I say.

 

I’m overcome with pure joy, and chills run down my spine, as I feel Melody wrap her arms around my body.  I begin to think that life can’t get any better than this, until she sighs and holds me tighter.  About exploding with happiness, I rev up the engine and speed away across the parking lot.  I disappointedly feel Melody release her hold of my body for a moment and, sneaking a glance in my rearview mirror, I see her waving to Peter.  He looks really lost and lonely.  I feel guilty for a moment, but as we pull out of the parking lot and speed down the street, all I can think about is her again. This time, though, I don’t have to imagine she’s here.  Melody is right behind me, holding me tight.  Life is good. 

 

 

 

A Winter Wedding

 

The moonlight streams down, soft and cool,

Causing your eyes,

And the snow that clings to your lashes,

To glitter with a rainbow of emotions.

I’m dazzled, dazed,

Delirious with love for you.

As you twirl me around the moonlit meadow,

Faces blur,

And the music fades.

All I see,

All I feel,

All I notice,

Is you.

I’ll always remember the winter night

When our two souls became

One.

 

 

Barbie, Ken, and Juliet: Act 1, Scene 1

 

“Slow down, Celia, you’re driving way too fast!”

I glare in the rear view mirror and put my foot harder on the gas in response. For some reason, this night had seemed like a good idea a month ago, but I’d learned that a lot can change in a short amount of time. It was so much more than I’d ever believed could have happened. The events of the past month now flood into my mind, so I crank the stereo to drown the thoughts away. I sigh in relief as Green Day begins to blast out of my speakers. Thank God for music; it has always been my sort of escape from reality, and this has especially been the case recently. I would tell you all about it, but I just don’t want to talk about it. Besides, I don’t really need to tell you about it; you’ll see it soon enough. It’s sitting in the back seat of my car at this very instant. I bet you’re really curious about what this “it”is now, aren’t you? I’ll just give you three words for now: “Lindsay and Alex.”

“Could you turn down the music, Celia? I’m trying to tell Alex something,” says a teenage girl. With her sleek blonde hair, her baby blue eyes, and her hot pink dress, she looks like a living Barbie doll. Yep. You guessed it, I’m sure. That’s Lindsay, my best-friend-turned-worst-enemy.

“What? I didn’t catch that,” I say, my voice laced with acid.

“I said ‘could you turn down the music?’. It’s way too loud, and I’m trying to talk to Alex.”

Oh yes. Alex. I’ve secretly had a crush on him since junior high. We’d known each other and had been friends since elementary school, but I’d never approached him about how I romantically felt for him. I didn’t want to ruin the friendship we had. Lindsay had no interest in Alex until the beginning of our junior year in high school, over a month ago, when I finally told her about my crush. All of a sudden she thought he was the greatest guy ever, which he is, by the way. Tall, curly brown hair, an adorable smile, and just the sweetest and most gorgeous guy you’d ever meet. I guess it’s only natural then that Lindsay, “Miss Perfect,” would end up dating “Mr. Perfect.” September 15th, the day Lindsay and Alex started dating, was the worst day of my life. I take that back. Today is the worst day of my life. Well, technically it’s night, Halloween night to be exact, but you get the point. Needless to say, I won’t turn my music down. I just turn it up louder and start head banging. Celia has a little hissy fit (oh, boo hoo), but when I peer back in the rearview mirror, I can tell that Alex is amused, and is trying hard to conceal a grin. Hmm, maybe this night won’t be as bad as I thought it’d be…

“What are you smiling about?” Lindsay says, her pencil-thin eyebrows arched in v-formation.

“Nothing. I was just wondering what Celia’s costume is supposed to be,” Alex says. Nice save there, Alex.

“I’m Juliet,” I say. That’s me for you. I don’t go along with the usual high school girl’s slutty cowgirl, nurse, or in Lindsay’s case, Barbie. Nope, not for me. I was Hester Prynne last year, and the year before that I was Hermione Granger. What can I say, I’m a book worm geek. I can’t wait to see what Alex’s costume ends up being. Lindsay told me he wasn’t going to put his costume on until we get there. He wanted it to be a surprise.

“Ah. Beautiful,” Alex says. I blush and can’t help but smile like an idiot. “The costume, I mean,” he adds quickly.

“Of course,” I say in a small, dead voice. My mind is numb, but my throat is aching and filled with repressed emotion, and my eyes blur over with tears. I hurriedly dab them away as I pull into the parking spot. We’ve made it to the party I’d been excited for since the end of the summer. Suddenly though I’m just not in the mood. Can you guess why?

----

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Firefly

 

 

 

The brisk, autumn air bites at my cheeks,

But I take no notice of its chill.

 I am in love

With the feeling of your warm hand clasped in mine,

With the sound of crisp leaves crunching beneath my feet,

With the scent of your soothing skin,

With everything about this moment.

 

Like a firefly,

 I want to capture this moment in a jar,

And keep it forever

 But, like a firefly,

A captured moment can’t live forever.

 

But my love for you

Is not like the firefly.

This moment may fade away,

But my love for you

Will never end.

 

 

Heart Burn

Conflicting, frightening, confusing:

My heart burns with a fire of emotions.

I try to read the signals in the smoke, but

They constantly change and contradict.

 

I thought love was supposed to be easy.

Just follow your heart,

Someday your prince will come,

But it was all a lie.

 

It’s not all sweet and beautiful.

It’s also sickening, painful, scary.

It haunts me like a ghost,

And I sometimes wish

I’d never loved at all.