Forgive and Forget

“Carry me when you go forth over land or sea;

For thus merely touching you is enough, is best,

And thus touching you would I silently sleep and be carried eternally.”

               

             I really love this quote from Walt Whitman’s poem “Whoever You Are Holding Me Now in Hand.”  It’s so calming and romantic; it brings back all the memories of sweet, romantic times that my boyfriend and I have had--and continue to have--together.  I have an obsession for quotes in general.  Whenever I’m reading and come across a quote that particularly strikes me, I put a little heart by it so I can find it later.  The problem, however, is that I don’t have time to write down all the little quotes I comes across, and even if I do find the time, I forget where I found the quote or even what the quote was.

 Forgetfulness and lack of time: I deal with these on a regular basis, as I’m sure you do as well.  In regards to forgetfulness, I have to write down everything because otherwise I’ll forget almost immediately.  Those moments where you walk into a room and freeze, having no idea what you were going to do?  Yeah, those moments happen to me quite frequently.  In retrospect it’s comical, but at the time it’s very frustrating and makes me feel helpless and anxious.  If I’m already this bad at remembering things at age 22, what will I be like when I’m 72? 82?  Continuing at my current rate, I probably won’t remember my name by then!

…But on a serious note, all of this discussion of forgetfulness caused me to also consider the things that we don’t forget.  Many of these unforgettable things are happy events, memories, or thoughts, but they also can be traumatizing, heartbreaking, painful thoughts that we’d much rather forget.  I find it bitterly ironic that the things we want to remember we can’t, but the things we don’t want to remember we remember so vividly, though we desperately wish to forget them.  That math test you forgot to study for, the garbage you forgot to take out: if only we could forget traumatic moments as easily as those mundane tasks. 

…But maybe we can.

Just like life, the brain is a complex system.  And just like life, you can change the thoughts that your brain chooses to cling to.  It won’t be easy, but the weight that will be lifted will be well-worth it.  What you need to do is to forgive.  Probably what’s weighing you down most, making you unable to forget, is this inability to forgive.  You carry this ache and blame of your persecutor (either yourself or another) with you everywhere you go, and this gets you nowhere.  It only makes the pain worse.  But if you simply choose to forgive and forget, that weight will disappear, and you’ll have more room in your brain for remembering good memories. 

Life is too short to be hung up on the bad parts of life.  Remember the beauty and happiness of your life, and forgive and forget what isn’t.  Life is all about perspective; choose the optimistic perspective and you will live a happy life. J