Twilight

     

     Taking a hike on this crisply cold December afternoon, I watched as day turned to night, light to dark, and marveled at the beauty and mystery of the in-between moment: twilight.  It's not yet dark but it's also not quite light anymore either.  The world is suspended in a moment between an ending and a beginning. The day is about to end and the night is about to begin.  As I observed the beautiful scene of the snow shining and the dark trees branched around me, I suddenly thought of a quote that Edward says in the book Twilight: “It's twilight. It’s the safest time of day for us. The easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way...the end of another day, the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable, don’t you think?”  I really like this quote.  It's very true. Twilight is a bit sad, especially at the end of a day that was particularly wonderful.  The day is ended, and that day will never exist again.  The day that has passed can never be repeated. 

      But there is also beauty in this ending because to quote "Closing Time" by Semisonic, "every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."  With the end of a day comes the night, which can be frightening sometimes, but after the night there is always the dawn of a new day, a day where anything can happen, and where a person can do or become anything he or she sets his or her mind to: a "new beginning" after a "beginning's end."  There is such beauty in this, and most of us don't really take a moment to realize this beauty, including myself, but being in nature always helps me to realize the beauty in not only this particular moment but in all moments. 

     Nature connects me to the world around me and brings me wonder and realization of how blessed I am to live in such a world of contradictions: of endings and beginnings, of comfort and danger, of fire and ice, of predictability and unpredictability.  Each day and night is always unique, but the progression between the two can always be depended on.  Always after day will come night and then day again, continuing on and on until the Earth's life ends.  Our own lives correspond with this progression of time.  Our days and nights are both different every day but continue in the same progression day after day and night after night until our lives end.  We may not know for sure what comes after death, but if it's anything like the wondrous contradictions of life on Earth, then it should be simply marvelous.   

My Lucky Star

    

     All my life I've waited for you.  My hopes and dreams designed you, and the wishes I sent to countless shooting stars created you.  But I never knew you existed, and you never knew I existed either.  I wandered alone, strong at first, bolstered up by the belief that I may find you someday soon, but days, months, years passed, and I still hadn't found you.  I'd catch glimpses of you in dreams, and though they were lovely and enchanting at the time, when I'd wake up to face reality they became soul-crushing.

     I began to lose hope.  A few times I thought I'd found you but then realized I'd been mistaken, and this eventually led me to complete hopelessness and apathy.  I realized I may never find you, that you might not even exist, and my world turned upside down.

     But then you suddenly appeared out of nowhere and turned my world right-side-up again.  You knocked me off the ground, lifting me up into the air, and my life would never be the same.  You found me, the true love I had created.  I knew without a doubt in my mind that it was you.  Sometimes when I look into your eyes I see those shooting stars flash by, the stars brimming with wishes for you to be born, the stars that created you and dropped you into my life.  I thank the stars everyday that you found me, my lucky star.

Darkness

      : a word with definitions and associations on completely opposite ends of the spectrum.  The most widely used association with darkness is an association with fear of the unknown and despair.
     
       Darkness blinds us, making us unable to anticipate what's to come or what's right in front of us in the moment even, and this is very frightening.  Humans like to be certain of the world, to completely organize and understand the world around them, but the darkness taunts us, showing us that certainty is impossible.  We can never truly be certain of anything because we live in a universe filled with uncertainty.  Thus, we're afraid of darkness because it reminds us of our vulnerability, how little we are in an immensely uncertain universe.
     
        Darkness can have a positive association though as well.  When we're having a bad day and want to escape the real world for a while, the darkness within our closed eyelids is a very good friend.  Within this darkness we can either set our minds into a void of nothingness or we can dream of anything we want to, even the impossible.  Also, the darkness a person may encounter when he or she dies--the darkness of eternal sleep--can be a very welcoming darkness.  It contains the promise of no more struggles and no more pain, just a peaceful sleep with the welcoming, velvety embrace of darkness.
    
        I marvel at how a single word can have so many unique definitions and/or associations.  It just goes to show you that language can never truly define the world around us.  The universe is far too complex and uncertain for that.  And that is not something to be afraid of; it is something to marvel at and enjoy.   
  

Let the Magic of Christmas Shine in Your Heart

       

         Christmas time is here yet again, and just like every year, I can barely wait!  I love Christmas so much!  There's just something so magical and filled with coziness and love at this time of year.  It's the holiday that renews the child within us and the wonder that comes along with being a child.  A world that, while in other seasons of the year looks drab and depressing, becomes completely new and unimaginably beautiful and enchanting.  The feeling of depression--or even apathy--is replaced with joy and love.  And the world that once was dark, cold, and cruel is now bright, warm, and pure.  Some people are unable to have this shift of perspective when Christmas rolls around, are unable to get in "the Christmas spirit" so to speak, and I truly feel sorry for these people and wish they could feel the absolute comfort, joy, and wonder I feel at this time of year.  How wonderful the world would be if we could all keep the Christmas spirit all year round.  But alas, this doesn't happen, and even for major Christmas fanatics such as myself, the magic dies a little bit more every year.  It's called "growing up," and it's highly overrated.  If only we could keep the child-like joy of Christmas in our hearts forever, right?  Well, we might not be able to keep all the magic we had in our hearts at Christmas time as children, but we can try to keep the memories with us and keep as much joy, love, and wonder in our lives as we possibly can.  ...And follow the code of the elves! :
1. Treat every day like Christmas.
2. There's room for everyone on the nice list.
3. The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.

Perspective

 

There are so many people in this world, each with a completely unique perspective of the world.  There are approximately 7,125,000,000 people in this world.  This means there are over 7,125,000,000 unique perspectives of the world.  That’s a startling amount, and every 8 seconds, another perspective is added to this list.  What if we were able to see the world from all of these different perspectives?  This would be an amazing discovery.  The mysteries of the world would become much clearer, and the world would be much more peaceful for then we’d know truly how each individual sees the words and we’d truly be able to empathize with each other.

So, this most likely will never become possible, but we can still try.  Try by being accepting of each other and patient, not judging a person before you get an insight into his or her perspective.  For there is no one right perspective.  The right perspective is a culmination of all of the perspectives together into one. 

 

 

 (Population statistics from: http://www.census.gov/popclock/ )

 

Perfect

 

                Letters race across the page…racing at snail speed.  Sometimes it’s easy to find the right words to convey but at other times it’s very much so not.  Right now is one of those times.  My mind isn’t blank though.  It’s more of an overload.  Writer’s block isn’t the absence of thoughts; it’s when you have just way too many thoughts and ideas that cause your mind to “block” up, so to speak.  Where do I start?  What should I say?  How will I say it?  Can I even do it?

                Writer’s block is similar to my feelings/thoughts about the future.  So many possibilities, but once again…where do I start?  What should I do?  How will I do it?  Can I do it?  Writing is like life.  Just as no one is ever a “perfect writer,” there is no “perfect person.”  Every writer/person has ups and downs in life, successes and failures, and we all constantly try again and again to perfect ourselves and what we’re doing.  Even though we aim to be perfect we’ll never truly reach it, but that’s okay.  To me the meaning/goal of life isn’t to be “perfect” at something or everything.  I believe that the real meaning/goal is to try the very best you can in all you aspire to do, to be the best person you can, and to love not only the ones you hold dear but also your enemies.  By doing this you still won’t become “the perfect person,” but you will be the perfect version of one particular individual: Yourself.  And that’s the very best, most beautiful person you could possibly be.

A Reflection on Sex

 

Sex: such a loaded word with so many different connotations.  Mostly it is seen as dirty, animalistic, and a taboo table conversation…not something you’d discuss with your grandmother over Thanksgiving dinner for instance.  But it can also be seen in a pure and compassionate way, as a deeply physical and emotional connection with a profound soul-touching power as well as a miraculous life-giving power.  The latter is how I view sex, but it wasn’t how I’d always viewed it.  Before I’d fallen in love and had a sexual relationship for the first time, I thought sex was dirty and impure and looked very painful.  I was convinced that I would never have sex and that even if I did, that I wouldn’t enjoy it and wouldn’t do it often.  Falling in love, however, has changed everything.

Who would’ve thought something as carnal and physical could be so pure and spiritual simultaneously?  Maybe it’s just me, but sex is more than just physical desire and instinct.  If it’s done with someone you love and trust (not just a random hook-up), sex can be extremely emotional and spiritual.  The act of having sex is a major display of trust.  There are so many things that could go wrong when it comes to sex…the woman could get pregnant, STDs could be transmitted, and rape could occur.  That’s why trust is so important when it comes to sex. 

If you can’t trust your partner with all your heart, then you aren’t truly ready for sex.  Your body may be saying “let’s go,” but your heart is saying “no.”  Trust your heart.  Putting yourself out there, displaying and giving up your whole body to another person is a major decision, and when you decide to do this with the right person—someone you love and trust completely—then this really strengthens your relationship and adds a whole new dimension of connection.

The first time I had sex probably wouldn’t be considered very spiritual…more so awkward…but, with time and practice, trust steadily built even more and with this complete trust came a freedom I’d never felt before…a freedom to be exactly who I am, no hiding, and to be completely certain of who I wanted and loved unconditionally: my lover. 

The part I find most amazing about sex is the connection between sex’s physical, instinctual connection and the intangible, spiritual connection of souls.  Through a physical connection of two bodies, a spiritual connection occurs right along with it.  It’s such a blessed and wondrous feeling to begin to know a person both inside and out, soul and body.  As I learned—and continue to learn— more and more about my lover, the more I love him and the more beautiful he becomes.  It’s so indescribable, so unconditional.  Sex isn’t everything, but it is a gateway to the soul once you trust your partner enough to meet “where soul meets body.”