Purpose

                “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” –Romans 12:2

                Purpose: this has long been a question in my life.  What is my purpose?  Lately I’ve been feeling as though I have no purpose at all.  I’ve been applying to as many jobs as I can, hoping to find my purpose in one of them, but I end up getting rejected again and again.   I feel helpless to the forces of the world around me, forces that seem to not want me to take part in the world.  I know I shouldn’t get so discouraged and that a job will pop up eventually, but I can’t help myself.  I have both anxiety and low self esteem, a terrible combination that makes the world around me a scary place much of the time.  And that’s why I write. 

                Writing is a way for me to spill out my thoughts and emotions into comprehensible language so that I can work through what’s troubling me.  I’ve found that all of my writing leads back to one thing: optimism.  I tend to be very pessimistic at times because of my anxiety and low self esteem, but my writing is the means for me to return back to my optimistic outlook.  My goal in life is to be ever-optimistic, even in the most difficult and painful times.  Yes, sometimes it’s inevitable that I will be pessimistic and let my sorrow wash over me, but I want to learn to control this urge to be sad.  Life is for living and being happy, not for just existing and being glum.  Myself and the world around me is such an amazing blessing.  There’s beauty to be found even in the seemingly most ugly, unhappy situations or places.

                  Mulling all of these current thoughts over in my mind, I begin to see more clearly what my purpose is.  I have such a wonder in the world around me—in nature, in individuality, and especially in love—and I wish to share this wonder with the world to help others with their unhappiness.  When I went to see the new live action version of the classic Cinderella, this bit of advice that Cinderella’s mother gave to Cinderella before she died really resonated within me:“Have courage and be kind.”  I think that would be a perfect motto to use for achieving my purpose in life.  I have always thought that being kind to people is the most important thing to achieve in life, and if a person has courage as well, then anything is possible.  I believe that God’s purpose for me is just that: to be kind to and love others and to share my love of His creation with the world.  So, maybe I haven’t found the perfect job yet, but as long as I approach every opportunity in life with kindness and love, and show the world how wonderful every aspect of it is, then I will be fulfilling my purpose.  It doesn’t matter where I go, how I’m perceived by others, what job I get, or how much I get paid, as long as I have courage, be kind, and share my wonder with the world, then life will be lovely and wonderfully fulfilling.